:3
-sigh-
I don’t know what’s exactly going on but today I realized that I’m actually happy. I’m not dwelling over past issues and things that really have no relevance in my life anymore… And to be honest, I’m pretty sure it’s because i now have Cody with me along with Bailey. I mean, I loved having just Bailey in my life but now that Cody’s here too I just feel… Complete. He asked me what I felt yesterday, after he kissed me…
And I told him the truth.
I felt tingles… Everywhere.
Maybe I’m naive, since this is my first relationship and whatnot but I can’t help it.
He’s my closest guy friend (that lives in my town) and we were friends for 4-5 months before we started dating and I don’t know, he makes me happy. I think of all the stupid things we say to each other and the goofy things we do and my face just splits into a grin.
Yeah, I still worry that he’ll leave, but that’s only because I don’t want him to. He also told me yesterday that he’s scared I’M going to break up with HIM. which I DO NOT see happening anytime soon.
Maybe I’m moving quickly, but I really don’t care.
I’m starting to love him.
I just want to be with him all the time but I fear I’ll smother him xD
And besides that I rather enjoy my time with my lovely Bailey anyways. So it all pans out.
And if I fall, and end up loving him fully and things don’t work out, then that’s okay.
Because you live and you love and forgive and forget.
And no, this doesn’t mean I’m going to pull a Shania and claim to be “in-love” with every person I date because not only do I plan on making my relationships last but I plan on only dating people who’ll make me happy and who I make happy, that way everything balances.
Looks aren’t everything, honey.
Anyway, I’ll see where I end up, but god, he makes me so goddamn happy
I’m… Scared.
I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and see me differently. And realize I’m not what you wanted after all…
And believe me, I’m not pulling a sob story like SHE does. (Need I say names? Miss I’m-in-LOVE-with-this-boyfriend-I’ve-had-for-one-week-who-I-don’t-even-know-personally.)
I’m just terrified.
I know what he wants and I want it too, not going to lie, but I feel like once it happens he’ll say something along the lines of “Well, I got what I wanted, later!”
But at the same time he’s not like that, he’s too… Too Cody. He’s a sweetheart and a gentleman and honestly, I like him too much for my benefit
Me, my best friend Bailey and my boyfriend Cody :3
I’m so sad I’m leaving them 3
I feel like crying right about now :/
